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I only wrote one blog last year, pitiful really for someone who considers themselves a writer, but then again, I either haven't been wel...

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Monday, 23 April 2012

To sum up a quarter of a century...

...is like being asked to name my favourite of something - I'm indecisive, and love too many things. I love to write, and can summarise if needs be, so I'll try this time.

I'm going to be 25 this Sunday, which to me seems like a milestone - I'm actually an adult now. The years leading up to it felt like a practice run in a way, but I'm sure I still have a lot to learn (typical me I'll probably figure it all out on my death bed, with my last breath - yes, I can be a morbid one).

I did think at the age of 18 I'd be a professional musician (rock star), or journalist by my age, and that I'd've moved out of home - The latter which I've done at least...for the 4th time.

The good things about life so far:

1. A supportive and loving family, and the same with my friends - some of which who have come and gone, but the ones who remain, and the ones I have gained, are the important ones (oh, how poetic!)

2. Living in a peaceful country...thus far (the cynicism will always be with me).

3. Having experienced and accomplished a good amount in 25 years...may it continue. (Being in bands, recording an album, meeting my heroes, living in another country, being a published writer...well, in a couple of publications anyway...)

The bad things?

1. Life has thrown some sh!t my way, but generally being optimistic, I've got through it. I give someone permission to slap me, if I turn into a "Woe is me!" type person in the next 25 years.

2. Being ill and the feeling of missing out on things the past 5 years, but that said, I've started to make up for that, and will continue to do so!

This is a "Dear Diary" type blog again, so sorry for the rambling on.

What do you want to accomplish by the time you're 50? I change my mind every 5 minutes, but would like to think by then I'll be cured of MS (stem-cell therapy please), have an established career/occupation, have travelled the world, fallen in love (for the right person next time), own a house, and above all - be happy! I'm not asking much then...

Ciao

xx

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Back to reality...

Well my last blog was me at one of my lowest points in the past year. I did feel embarrassed sharing that with whomever stumbled across it, but y'know what? My blog is about not sugarcoating life, so it will stay on here.

The relapse is now pretty much on its way out - which means this one only lasted a month in total, so the meds (no matter how much I hate taking them), might actually be working.
My last relapse had the usual pins and needles, fizzy feet (yes, it feels like a fizzing sensation...v odd), dizziness, crap memory, slurred speech and fatigue. Fun times. The burning arm feeling came back, which is best described like my arm being set on fire - lovely.

As with everything from now on, I won't hold my breath, as MS is pretty unpredictable, but in the short-term that is a good sign that the relapse was shorter than usual.

My neurologist is also keen for me to take the pill for MS (I think he may actually be human now, as he said the criteria was "ridiculous"), but the Primary Care Trust and NICE (not so), have some strict guidelines.
I need to be on the medication I'm currently on for a year, and if I have a relapse in that time, then I MAY be able to get the new medication. The neurologist said I technically have had a relapse on my meds, but as I haven't been taking the high dose for that long, the Primary Care Trust might not count it.

It's frustrating that there is a better medication out there (not just because I wouldn't have to inject, it is meant to be slightly better than my current one), and not being able to use it. What is the point of inventing something, slapping a huge price tag on it, for no one to be able to afford it? Anyway, I guess I'll have to wait and see!

Life is back to normal again and positivity is creeping back into my mind. I've said it before, and I will say it again, I have great friends and family.

Doubts will still remain, but life will go on regardless, pick yourself up and carry on (no matter how painful).

Now, before I ramble on even more or get philosophical...Ciao xx