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Thursday, 30 August 2012

Just like clockwork...

So my last blog I was in fact describing a relapse, which I thought I'd managed to bypass, but unfortunately not, although "the peak" as I will call it, lasted less than a week.

"The Peak" for me means when I get the worse symptoms, then the fatigue kicks in...big time. The cluster headaches will not subside though, and it feels like a sharp, stabbing pain behind my eye. I'm not going to assume this is just because of MS though, I can't blame every health affliction on MS, so I plan on seeing a doctor to make sure it's nothing else! (Hopefully nothing worse!)

I nearly lost total use of my left hand last week, something new. One hand was numb and having spasms, and the other was just spasm-ing (not a word, but hey, the English language is always changing...)

But yes, this relapse is "just like clockwork", as I seem to get ill gradually from June/July/August, relapsing, then lasting through to some point in September/October. This is the one time I don't like something being on time...

The plus side? Maybe the PCT will allow me the pill medication (maybe even some Sativex for the strange neurological sensations...unlikely though).

xx

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Dumbing it down

The dust has settled, the meds have had time to work their magic, and I've used two cliches in my first sentence.

Essentially, I'm on a level playing field (another one), where I'm not overly unwell, yet I wouldn't say I feel great. I feel happier and slightly energetic on a daily basis now, especially as I've got used to my injections (hello bruises), and got used to having MS. If it's possible I'm so levelled out, I nearly need reminding that I have MS (not really, but it isn't constantly on my mind any more).

The fatigue is still my main obstacle, along with my speech, coordination, concentration and...um...memory. The fatigue, on a particularly bad day (sometimes worse after my medication), makes the latter symptoms even worse. Which I'm sure I have mentioned before (my memory isn't THAT bad).

Anyway, I think I'm relapsing, but the symptoms feel dumbed down somewhat. Granted, I'm shattered, I keep walking into things, tripping up, having hand spasms and dropping things, cluster headaches, and some optic neuritis pain thrown in, but it feels numb in comparison to my last relapse (reference my angry blog from March). Usually I won't be able to get out of bed for at least a week, however I have been making it in to work so far this week, which to me, is a big achievement, and makes me feel tentatively happy.

Little things like that help me continue with my PMA (Positive Mental Attitude), which has helped me through coping with my diagnosis. I do realise I am actually lucky in comparison to other people, and things could be worse off for me.

So, Rebif might be working a bit for me...but if this does prove to be a relapse, I may qualify for the pill medication, which would be fantastic, but you never know. For now, I shall take it easy and sleep plenty this weekend.

Here is a video featuring a friend of mine, raising awareness for MS: http://www.mssociety.org.uk/shana

xx