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I only wrote one blog last year, pitiful really for someone who considers themselves a writer, but then again, I either haven't been wel...

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Saturday, 27 April 2013

Blah...

I guess my blogs are getting less and less lately, but I might have mentioned before that I don't want to repeat myself too much. This time I have something to write about - it might sound self pitying, however I'm telling it as it is, and how I feel. (I am well aware of someone else on this planet having worse problems with me, and even with those people, someone else will be worse off. If you have a problem, you're entitled to be pissed off...)

I had a relapse from December - April, and now I have a bad bout of MS fatigue, which actually makes me prefer the relapse, and I've never known tiredness like it. In fact, I find it scary how much I can sleep and I still feel tired.

This time it was worsening of old symptoms more than anything, like cluster headaches, memory, balance and speech problems, and hand spasms. I've taken a large amount of time off work, and have been signed off for the past two weeks. My Physiotherapist gave me a walking stick (one for each side, depending on which side I need it), this is to help with my balance problems, and I'm now going to be working 4 days a week. I know I need to work part-time, however I feel like me working hard the past two years and going one step forward, I'm now going five steps backwards.

I'm going to be Twenty Six on Monday, and I feel like I'm Eighty Six. I want to be going out with my friends, having fun, being carefree, however I've had to refuse many social invitations this year because I'm unwell, which at first made me feel like a flake, but my friends understand so it stops me from worrying (although if anyone stopped being my friend because of my MS, then what would be point of being friends?)

Anyway, enough of moaning from me, things could be worse, but it's making me re-evaluate my life and what I want to do - life is too short. Number one on the list, trying to get more writing work, so I could eventually write for a living one day. I'm starting to feel ever so slightly better than I was two weeks ago, so I need to remember that if I keep on resting (more than usual), the fatigue may be back to normal soon (still exhausting me, but meaning I can have a nap to quench it, rather than sleeping for 13 hours).

Until next time...

Jo